diagnosis

The problem with doctors is that they never have enough information.  The problem with the internet is that it has too much.  I am forever self-diagnosing myself with things.  Extreme things.  Unlikely things.  I think the most recent is Lupus.  (haha!!)

I think this self-diagnosis, for me at least, is that I can explore several opinions all at once.  I can see which things match my symptoms, and I can see which symptoms are typical of different diseases.  I don't know about you, but for the past decade or so, every time I have gotten desperate enough to take my ailments to a medical professional, I am looked over, hear "Uh huh, uh huh," and am prescribed an antibiotic or physical therapy to fix that UNKNOWN ailment right up.  NO DIAGNOSIS.

And don't even get me started on the whole "You want to see your DR???  Uh no.  You can see a PA or nurse practitioner, who is 5 minutes out of college and has less of a  freakin' clue what's wrong with you than even the doctor does."  And oh, don't forget to write your copay check on your way out the door, thankyouverymuch.

One of my personal frustrations with this tireless process is that I tend not to have typical reactions to things.  For example, I normally have a low blood pressure, so by the time a doctor decides it is high, my heart has practically beaten right out of my chest.  And EVERY SINGLE TIME I am seen by a doctor for any reason, they ask me if I have had my thyroid checked.  And then they send me for the bloodwork, and later tell me my results are "normal."  For whom??  If my symptoms are enough to flag every doctor to the problem, then perhaps my baseline is not in the normal range!  But when I suggest such a thing, I am summarily dismissed.

My last visit to the ER was on Thanksgiving, and was only at the insistence of my entire extended family.  After enough pressure, I went.  An exam by a PA, a chest x-ray, an EKG, blood test for Lyme Disease and some other unknown ailments, and an exam by a doctor who never let me finish an answer to his rapid fire questions and refusal to look me in the eye later........  I left with a prescription for an antibiotic and no diagnosis.  Somewhere after all the exams and waiting to be discharged, I began to unleash my fury at the inept medical system on my husband, mother, and sister.  My sister who will hopefully become my doctor once she completes medical school, and was able to obtain me a diagnosis with two second opinions via text message as she sat and watched the debacle unfold in front of her.

And I guess I am not dying from anything, since they never called me with any blood work results.  (*insert eyeroll here*)

So as I sit here in wait of doctors to yet again interpret what is not within normal levels (for whom???) and avoid self-diagnosing and mapping every possible scenario, there is nothing I can do but trust my body to do what I know it can do, and trust God to provide as only he can, and continue to have faith. 

faith

I have incredible faith.  It is what has carried me through my entire life.  When I have been the most lost, it is what has guided me.  I don't understand why it seems that there are so many rough roads I must travel in life to reach my destination, but it has always been my journey.  I have to be broken down before I can be built up.  It is why I have such a deep appreciation for what I have and it is also why I always have the resolve to continue forward.

thunking in abscence of original thought

Welcome to the January 21st version of Thursday Thunks!

This week we will answer some crazy questions brought to you by Berleen, the color white chocolate caramel and the number 0.   (My answers in bold.)

1. Pants on the Ground....  No.  Stop it.  I don't watch that show anymore, and refuse to Google the video.  I also would not watch that baby dance video.  I also don't post copycat Facebook statuses.  Really, stop it.  Right now.
2. To compliment Kimber's question from last week.... have you ever fell down the stairs?  I didn't do last weeks thunks, so I don't know what the question was, but I fall down AND up the stairs with more regularity than what is probably normal for a person my age.

3. Have you ever written to a company about their product? Ever called them?  Oh, hell yes.  I am one of THOSE.  I have worked in customer service enough to have both a high tolerance for the poor saps doing the job, and a breaking point and persistence to know that when I have had enough that I will keep going until my voice is heard.

4. Your dog/cat/snake/iguana/pet skunk (or just fill in your pet's species) goes to the vet. Ok, you take them to the vet... most pets wouldn't go on their own. The vet tells you that your species has cancer. Do you:

• a. tell them to pull out the needle and put them to sleep on the spot
• b. take them home and let them live out their life until the end
• c. same as b. except you don't let them get to the suffering stage
• d. go full steam ahead with cancer treatments

Ohhhhhhh.  My cat has cancer and had surgery this week.  It didn't work.  Days are numbered.  :(   
I am not a pet person, and if you asked me I would tell you that I would NEVER drop a bunch of cash into saving a pet.  Until the rare occasions that my pets need it, then I get all soft and sad and do what I have to do for them.
So, to answer the question, we are probably at c.

5. What is your favorite comfort food?  Carbs.  Or ice cream.

6. If your child was put in jail for putting a gun in their spouses mouth and pulling the trigger (even though the gun wasn't loaded), strangling them and breaking their arm... would you post bail for them?   Is that what Charlie Sheen did on Christmas?  I doubt I would ever have the cash to post bail for anyone.  But for my child I bet I would work it out.  Plus, I have girls, so if they are capable of doing such a thing to their spouse, the spouse is either way weak, or has it coming.

7. If elephants had wings, how many feathers do you think they would have on each wing?  Really?  I don't even care how many feathers are on the wings of animals that are supposed to have them.

8. Is there anything growing in your refrigerator right now?  Cleaned it out yesterday.
9. What did you do with your Thursdays while we were on a break?  I didn't thunk.  In fact, I didn't even blog in protest.  Did it work?  :)

10. Would you donate to the Kimber Ark Building Fund and donate wood? She is about to float away after all...   Is this like that Evan Almighty movie?  Drowning in snow this winter, Kimber.  Trade?

11. If I were to send you a letter and I wanted to put a little heart sticker on the back of the envelope, what color sticker would you like it to be?  I love mail!!  Let's be penpals!!  Use any color you want - just write!!  Too desperate?  Then just leave a comment, ok?  Somebody??  Anybody???

blank

I have not been able to figure out what to write here.  I hate staring at the blank page and not having any inspiration.  I hate that I haven't been up to much or interacting with people or working so that I have precious little anecdotes to share.

Instead there is only this blank page...............

Any requests for a topic???