Oct 21, 2009

memes, and endorsements, and zombies - oh my!

Welcome to the October 22nd version of Thursday Thunks!

This week we will answer some crazy questions brought to you by
Kimber, the number 70, and the color mellow.

1. If you were to start a meme (or a second or third), what would you call it and what day would you pick?
I think I would go with The Tell-All Tuesday blog meme.   
Or maybe the Please Read My Blog and Leave a Comment Monday blog meme.
Or the It's After 8 o'clock, Everybody Be Quiet and Leave Mommy Alone blog meme.
Or the Hey, It's Saturday Night, Let's Have a Glass of Wine and Forget the Pain of the Work Week blog meme.
(And clearly I have now veered off into just venting about life in this response.....)

2. When a celebrity endorses a product, do you really believe they like it/use it?
Of course I..... Don't!  I would imagine that it is often the case that the day the camera snaps the photo is the first time their hand may have ever touched the product.
My latest fav is how suddenly addicted the morning radio team seems to be to Dunkin Donuts and laser hair removal.  They talk about it every ten minutes or so.  Interesting.
3. Why don't zombies ever just eat each other?
Are you saying they don't?  Huh.  I'm more concerned about how ANYONE gets eaten by a zombie when they walk so slowly.  Just run already, and you'd be safe!  

4. If you were an elephant, would you rather roam free or be in a zoo?
This, I think, would be like offering a mother the opportunity to go to jail.  Out in the wild, elephants are at risk of poachers.  In the zoo, they get regular baths and food and a captive audience who thinks they are interesting.
(Three square meals a day, peace and quiet, sleep..... think about it....)

5. The doorbell rings on October 31st, do you answer it?
It is probably one of the only days out of the year that I answer it without expecting anyone specific.

6. If you see a piece of paper on the ground while out & about, do you pick it up? If so, do you look to see what it is?
I am not particularly in the habit of picking up trash off the ground, so no.  If it was left on my desk or the floor of my office or something like that, then yes.

7. If Jon Gosselin and Octomom got married and then their own reality show, do you think she would try to get pregnant again for better ratings?
Totally.  And if anything even remotely like that ever happens, I don't want to hear anything about it.  Ick.

8. If Thursday Thunks was to be put on hold or quit completely, would you be sad?
W H A T ?!?!  
Please don't go.  This is my favorite meme of all time.
Maybe drag in some new co-authors if you are feeling the burnout? 
Really, don't go.

Oct 17, 2009

halloween - meh

I have never been much of a Halloween person.  The irony of this, is that I am always surrounded by people in my life who adore this holiday.  Thus, I go along and play along, but in truth, it just really isn't my thing.

I hate costumes.  I am not creative enough to come up with one, I am generally uncomfortable in one, I never feel like I've put a good enough one together..... you get the picture.

I frankly just don't need the temptation of all the candy around.  Although, I do love a good fun size Twix bar now and again.

I don't like to be scared.  I don't like scary movies or haunted houses.  I don't want someone jumping out at me and saying "BOO!"  Scary does not equal good for me.

I don't even really like the dark.

But again, I am surrounded by Halloween lovers.  Soooo, I decorate (actually, I like that part), and we costume, and trick-or-treat, and prepare for the slew of apple bobbin', custome wearin', craft makin', scare inducing parties that are upon us over the next couple weeks.

The good news is, turkey and family togetherness are right around the corner.

Oct 9, 2009

i forgot to thunk on a week when they used my question = fail.

Welcome to the October 8th version of Thursday Thunks!
This week we will answer some crazy questions brought to you by
Thursday Thunkers, the number 301 and the color ketchup red.

~This week we will answer questions from the Thunkers themselves. All questions were copied and pasted directly from the blogs. We will continue thunkers questions next week so if we haven't used your question yet... we will!~

1. Bud- What type of meme question is the hardest?
The ones made out of wood.
2. Smart Cent's Mom- If you could be any person living or dead, who would you be?
Oprah.  Kathy Griffin is right about her - that bitch rules  the world.

3. Thom- You accidentally bumb into someone at a store and you apologize. The person you bumped into says no problem and you notice food stuck in their teeth. What do you do?
Move on, giggle, tell a friend (probably Bridget or Steven).  I am that kind of stranger.   If this was a friend with something in their teeth, I tell them.  I'm that kind of friend.  Seventh grade science teacher spends a whole class walking around with toilet paper stuck to her shoe, I giggle and make jokes with the kid sitting next to me the whole class.  I am that kind of student.
4. Captured Memories- "Do you ever shed a tear when you poop?"
Seriously???  Would that be because it hurts, you feel such relief, or you are so damn proud of the thing?
5. Mejis- If a tree falls in the forest and no one is there to hear it, it's still a tree, right?
No, now it is firewood.  Light a campfire and make s'mores.
6. Tosin- What is something you have said to someone that you wish you could take back?
I can do this on my own.
I am vulnerable.
Yes, let's do that!
No, I don't want to.
I hate you.
I love you.
7. Annie's home- not feeling very creative here so I will ask if you were in the Big Brother house how would you play the game?
From the second I walked through the door.  But I would not let that show until much later.  The one's who play too hard and show their hand too early go down for it.  Can you say Ronnie, anyone?
8. Meandering Matt- Mac (which is still a PC (personal computer) in my opinion) or PC (Microsoft)?
Stuck in a PC world, lusting over a Mac book.  Looking for a sponsor.  Let me know.
9. Living Dead Nurse- Do you think Jay Leno’s show should be cancelled?
I think the whole concept of his prime time late night talk show is really stupid.  If you weren't done having your show, why did you leave it?
This question is a little schizophrenic.  Like one of those math problems with too much information in it.  But I'm going to say it is 38DD or below.  I know this, because I can't buy bras there that fit.  So yours may be prettier, but mine are bigger.  Deal with it.

11. And finally one by Kimber (just so you don't think I am too lazy)- There is a rattlesnake living behind the warehouse my husband's company just moved into, tarantulas in our side yard, scorpions all around at night and coyotes howling and running down the street in front of our house. So what color sheets will you want on your bed when you come to visit me?
Aw, sweetie.  It won't matter what color they are when I pass out on them after my fourth martini, now will it?  Feel better!!

Oct 2, 2009

ladies who lunch

I am not a rich woman, but I know I would be fabulous at it. 

I would have long lunches with friends, and shop all day, and get my hair and nails done every week.

I would happily tip the housekeeper on her way out the door each day.

I would savor every bite of the healthy decadent meals that my chef prepares.

I would relish my monthly massage appointments.

I would wear big lavish jewelry that my husband spoils me with for no reason.

I would work out every morning in my home gym because my personal trainer would insist.  And then after the workout we would drink a smoothie. 

I would travel.  Lots.  To everywhere.

I would always have fresh flowers all over my home.

And I wouldn't worry and stress and pray every time I turned the key in the ignition of my beat up car or wrote a check or needed to buy my daughter a new pair of tap shoes or had to decide whether to work two more hours or spend time with my kids.  I wouldn't miss my family and friends so much because I would be able to see them whenever I wanted.

And I would enjoy every second.  Because I would be a fabulous lady who lunches.

Oct 1, 2009

the gift of hypnobirthing

One of the great gifts I received during my surrogacy was the skill of hypnobirthing.

At the time, I don't know if I really even knew what it was.  I think for a brief moment I thought that it had something to do with giving birth in water.  (Yeah, I know.)  My friends were gracious enough to send my husband and I to the class, and stayed with my kids while we were at the classes.

With my first pregnancy, I took two different classes (funny that - one with my husband, and one with my friend for whom I was now carrying her child).  They were typical childbirth education classes - taught us the stages of labor, breathing exercises, the screaming ugly birth video.

The learnings were all rendered useless when my three day labor with no progression turned into a Cesarean Section.  My naive, overly analytic self upon hearing the declaration by my doctor that surgery was inevitable, actually reached over for my What to Expect book and began frantically flipping the pages to the surgery chapter.

The next baby arrived after another three day labor, but this time I was adamant to bring her into the world without surgical intervention.  I did this with the help of a lovely epidural overdose (Push???  Doctor, I can't feel my body from the waist down.....)

One of the things our hypnobirthing instructor spent a lot of time emphasizing was the importance of advocating for yourself.  This was a very important message for me to hear, as although I am not necessarily shy about voicing my opinion on an issue, I am not at all skilled at getting what I need.  People generally blindly follow their doctor's advice for many reasons - they are supposed to be the experts.  And of course they are.  But they are not the expert at what is going on with MY body.  Which is why hearing the reminders to listen to my body, work with it, and ASK FOR WHAT I NEED AND WANT was such an important one.  It was a lesson that came into play when enforcing my birth plan and insisting on the VBAC my doctor and I agreed upon when the on-call doctor disagreed with the decision.  I respectfully yet sternly insisted that my wishes were adhered to.  (Not to mention an incredible support system that were able to stand up for me in times of weakness.  This is also a big part of the program and how it works most successfully.)

The heart of the pain management techniques were to work with your body.  It seems obvious, but think about it the next time you are getting a shot or giving blood.  Your instinct is to tense up.  Tensing and fighting what is happening increases the pain experience.  Relaxing, breathing, and working with your body can help to alleviate it.  Fighting against and agonizing over every contraction can make them more painful and less productive.  The key is working with your body to do what it is naturally designed to do.

The self-hynosis techniques that I learned gave me tools to redirect myself out of the experience and to give my subconscious mind another place to be without allowing my conscious brain to focus on the pain.  It was incredible to be able to be in full control of my experience.  It was empowering in a way that I would never have imagined.  And best of all, it was a three hour labor, completely in contrast from the bloody, painful, screaming childbirth image that most people have.  It was blessed, peaceful, quiet.  Strong.  Everything that it should be.

I have been able to use what I learned then many times over.  Whenever I am nervous I have tools to relax and calm myself down.  Whenever I need to deal with physical pain, I am able to redirect my mind away from the present and get through it easier.  If you had asked me a few years ago what it felt like to get a tattoo, I would have told you it was a dreadful stabbing experience.  When I got a new one a few months ago I was barely aware of what was happening, and felt minimal discomfort.  The same for shots or bloodwork.  I was the child who ran screaming from the examining room.  Now I don't tense, remember to breathe, and it's over before I have a chance to feel a thing.

I never dreamed that what I went into with such skepticism would end up becoming a lifelong skill.  I am very thankful for that!