Nov 20, 2009


It seems I am a statistic.

I was laid off last week.  Truth be told, I was totally pissed off for several reasons.  This was a decision completely within the owner's control, and if he was half the stand up guy he claims to be, he would have had the decency to wait until after the holidays.  There is no way that the company was so out of money that they couldn't afford to pay me the three more paychecks it would have taken to get me to 2010.

Furthermore, I was sold a faulty bill of goods.  Swampland in Florida.  I left the security of my previous job for growth and opportunity and was left with neither.  The recession was out of his control.  The poor decision making and lack of follow through along the way was not.

And now that that whining is over........

I have spent this week not being very productive, and not getting many of my to do items accomplished.  I have gotten my share of extra sleep and found that there really is not anything good on tv.

But that is over, and now it is time for me to begin to move on.  Thanksgiving is here, and I am hosting.  I need to get the house company clean, and babyproof for the busy little two year old who will be spending some time here.

It's funny, I am always given a good dose of family right when I need one.

Nov 4, 2009

disease, sesame street, and flowers.... oh my!!!

Welcome to the November 5th version of Thursday Thunks!

This week we will answer some
crazy questions brought to you by
Kimber, the color of sweet potato pie and the number B12.

1. Mad Cow disease, Bird Flu, Swine Flu...what barnyard animal will cause the next big outbreak of disease?
I feel like we should probably be on the lookout for Goat Fever, Whale Bloat, and Giraffe Sneeze.  Hell, I'm even afraid to pet the cat now for fear of catching Feline Whisker Migraine.

2. Sesame Street turns 40 this month. If you were to be on Sesame Street, which character would you want to be in a scene with?
Ok, well first, this would be my freakin' dream to be on Sesame Street.  I grew up on the stuff, I love it, and I'm not afraid to admit it.  I mean, I totally cried when Mr. Hooper died.  Making me choose just one character to be in a scene with is sorta like picking my favorite kid.  Yikes! 
I would want to start my day waking up in Bert and Ernie's room, and helping Ernie annoy Bert for a bit.  Then I would take a peek at the Twiddlebugs in his window box before leaving to go see the Count.  
I'm thinking we'd get to about SIX, BWA HA HA HA, before I decided to make my way over to see Cookie Monster.  We would resist eating the cookies for a minute or two before shoving them all in our faces spraying crumbs everywhere.  
To work off the cookies I would find Grover for a rousing game of Neeeeaaar, Faaaaarrrrrrr.  Near, far, nearfar.  
At this point I would probably compete against Prairie Dawn and the Martians (Yip-yip-yip-yip. Uh-huh. Uh-huh.) in a game show hosted by Guy Smiley.  The Martians wouldn't understand the game and I would let Prairie Dawn win, she is such a sweet kid after all.
I'm exhausted by now, so I'm thinking a big old nap in Big Bird's nest.  I would wake up, just missing Snuffleupagus (I am from the frustrated generation that struggled to prove he is real) and have a few laughs with Telly and Herry Monster.  (Forget that Abby/Elmo/Zoe crap.  I am old school.)  
I would end my day in Oscar's trash can.  He is my true heart's desire.
3. We are out shopping for a new laptop. Which one do you pick and why?
I covet this.....

4. Have you ever dried a flower in a book (pressing)? If so what was the flower and the name of the book?
The only time I remember doing this is when my daughter and I were in my friend's wedding.  I pressed the flowers from each of our bouquets.  I didn't put them in a book, they are in plastic sleeves.  
5. Do you think it's important to study other planets? If so, why or why not?
Important for what?  I always loved astromony, so I guess it is important TO ME in that it is interesting.  I am not sure what practical knowledge we are gaining at this point by studying our own solar system, but perhaps there may be more value in what is happening beyond it.
(And ten bucks says Bud works "Uranus" into his response.... any takers??)
6. Have you ever walked out of a movie at the theater? What was the movie, how much was the ticket and why did you walk out?
Nah, just can't do it.  I am one of those stick to it types when it comes to these things.  (aka OCD)  I have in recent years forced myself to put down a book or turn off a movie that is starting to suck.  These days it is mostly because once I've forked up the $$$ to be at the theater, I am committed to it - suck or not.
7. Does the city/town you live in have traffic enforcement cameras? Have you ever gotten a citation/ticket/fine from one? If so, did you pay or fight it?
Good grief, we only have four street lights total and three police officers..... so no.  Our budget has not yet provided for surveillance equipment.

8. If your neighbor is having a baby would you buy a baby gift for them?
Those are the kind of things I think of, and then never follow through on.  I suck at follow through, but I mean well.
9. How many questions are too many questions?
I'm not sure, but actually JUST thought as I was answering the last question that this was a higher than normal amount of questions this week.  Cool.  Isn't bothering me.  Just something I noticed.  :)
10. Do you have a handwritten journal you write in everyday?
I don't.  I used to journal a lot, but I don't write daily.  Now I just do it when I need to work through my thoughts.
11. Have you already made plans for 2010?
Wow - more than I can believe actually!  I have plans all the way through November.  There are some summer openings at this time if you would like to make an appointment.
12. Thursday Thunks has a huge party for all those who play along each week. Where is the party, how long does it last and does Kimber fall off the roof dropping crayons? If so, what color of crayon does she fall on?
Huh?  Is there beer at this party?  And is the beer, GOOD beer?
13. We may have "blogger celebrity" questions in the near future. Are you excited?
I am TOTALLY excited!!!
Ummmmm...... what is a celebrity blogger question? 

Oct 21, 2009

memes, and endorsements, and zombies - oh my!

Welcome to the October 22nd version of Thursday Thunks!

This week we will answer some crazy questions brought to you by
Kimber, the number 70, and the color mellow.

1. If you were to start a meme (or a second or third), what would you call it and what day would you pick?
I think I would go with The Tell-All Tuesday blog meme.   
Or maybe the Please Read My Blog and Leave a Comment Monday blog meme.
Or the It's After 8 o'clock, Everybody Be Quiet and Leave Mommy Alone blog meme.
Or the Hey, It's Saturday Night, Let's Have a Glass of Wine and Forget the Pain of the Work Week blog meme.
(And clearly I have now veered off into just venting about life in this response.....)

2. When a celebrity endorses a product, do you really believe they like it/use it?
Of course I..... Don't!  I would imagine that it is often the case that the day the camera snaps the photo is the first time their hand may have ever touched the product.
My latest fav is how suddenly addicted the morning radio team seems to be to Dunkin Donuts and laser hair removal.  They talk about it every ten minutes or so.  Interesting.
3. Why don't zombies ever just eat each other?
Are you saying they don't?  Huh.  I'm more concerned about how ANYONE gets eaten by a zombie when they walk so slowly.  Just run already, and you'd be safe!  

4. If you were an elephant, would you rather roam free or be in a zoo?
This, I think, would be like offering a mother the opportunity to go to jail.  Out in the wild, elephants are at risk of poachers.  In the zoo, they get regular baths and food and a captive audience who thinks they are interesting.
(Three square meals a day, peace and quiet, sleep..... think about it....)

5. The doorbell rings on October 31st, do you answer it?
It is probably one of the only days out of the year that I answer it without expecting anyone specific.

6. If you see a piece of paper on the ground while out & about, do you pick it up? If so, do you look to see what it is?
I am not particularly in the habit of picking up trash off the ground, so no.  If it was left on my desk or the floor of my office or something like that, then yes.

7. If Jon Gosselin and Octomom got married and then their own reality show, do you think she would try to get pregnant again for better ratings?
Totally.  And if anything even remotely like that ever happens, I don't want to hear anything about it.  Ick.

8. If Thursday Thunks was to be put on hold or quit completely, would you be sad?
W H A T ?!?!  
Please don't go.  This is my favorite meme of all time.
Maybe drag in some new co-authors if you are feeling the burnout? 
Really, don't go.

Oct 17, 2009

halloween - meh

I have never been much of a Halloween person.  The irony of this, is that I am always surrounded by people in my life who adore this holiday.  Thus, I go along and play along, but in truth, it just really isn't my thing.

I hate costumes.  I am not creative enough to come up with one, I am generally uncomfortable in one, I never feel like I've put a good enough one together..... you get the picture.

I frankly just don't need the temptation of all the candy around.  Although, I do love a good fun size Twix bar now and again.

I don't like to be scared.  I don't like scary movies or haunted houses.  I don't want someone jumping out at me and saying "BOO!"  Scary does not equal good for me.

I don't even really like the dark.

But again, I am surrounded by Halloween lovers.  Soooo, I decorate (actually, I like that part), and we costume, and trick-or-treat, and prepare for the slew of apple bobbin', custome wearin', craft makin', scare inducing parties that are upon us over the next couple weeks.

The good news is, turkey and family togetherness are right around the corner.

Oct 9, 2009

i forgot to thunk on a week when they used my question = fail.

Welcome to the October 8th version of Thursday Thunks!
This week we will answer some crazy questions brought to you by
Thursday Thunkers, the number 301 and the color ketchup red.

~This week we will answer questions from the Thunkers themselves. All questions were copied and pasted directly from the blogs. We will continue thunkers questions next week so if we haven't used your question yet... we will!~

1. Bud- What type of meme question is the hardest?
The ones made out of wood.
2. Smart Cent's Mom- If you could be any person living or dead, who would you be?
Oprah.  Kathy Griffin is right about her - that bitch rules  the world.

3. Thom- You accidentally bumb into someone at a store and you apologize. The person you bumped into says no problem and you notice food stuck in their teeth. What do you do?
Move on, giggle, tell a friend (probably Bridget or Steven).  I am that kind of stranger.   If this was a friend with something in their teeth, I tell them.  I'm that kind of friend.  Seventh grade science teacher spends a whole class walking around with toilet paper stuck to her shoe, I giggle and make jokes with the kid sitting next to me the whole class.  I am that kind of student.
4. Captured Memories- "Do you ever shed a tear when you poop?"
Seriously???  Would that be because it hurts, you feel such relief, or you are so damn proud of the thing?
5. Mejis- If a tree falls in the forest and no one is there to hear it, it's still a tree, right?
No, now it is firewood.  Light a campfire and make s'mores.
6. Tosin- What is something you have said to someone that you wish you could take back?
I can do this on my own.
I am vulnerable.
Yes, let's do that!
No, I don't want to.
I hate you.
I love you.
7. Annie's home- not feeling very creative here so I will ask if you were in the Big Brother house how would you play the game?
From the second I walked through the door.  But I would not let that show until much later.  The one's who play too hard and show their hand too early go down for it.  Can you say Ronnie, anyone?
8. Meandering Matt- Mac (which is still a PC (personal computer) in my opinion) or PC (Microsoft)?
Stuck in a PC world, lusting over a Mac book.  Looking for a sponsor.  Let me know.
9. Living Dead Nurse- Do you think Jay Leno’s show should be cancelled?
I think the whole concept of his prime time late night talk show is really stupid.  If you weren't done having your show, why did you leave it?
This question is a little schizophrenic.  Like one of those math problems with too much information in it.  But I'm going to say it is 38DD or below.  I know this, because I can't buy bras there that fit.  So yours may be prettier, but mine are bigger.  Deal with it.

11. And finally one by Kimber (just so you don't think I am too lazy)- There is a rattlesnake living behind the warehouse my husband's company just moved into, tarantulas in our side yard, scorpions all around at night and coyotes howling and running down the street in front of our house. So what color sheets will you want on your bed when you come to visit me?
Aw, sweetie.  It won't matter what color they are when I pass out on them after my fourth martini, now will it?  Feel better!!

Oct 2, 2009

ladies who lunch

I am not a rich woman, but I know I would be fabulous at it. 

I would have long lunches with friends, and shop all day, and get my hair and nails done every week.

I would happily tip the housekeeper on her way out the door each day.

I would savor every bite of the healthy decadent meals that my chef prepares.

I would relish my monthly massage appointments.

I would wear big lavish jewelry that my husband spoils me with for no reason.

I would work out every morning in my home gym because my personal trainer would insist.  And then after the workout we would drink a smoothie. 

I would travel.  Lots.  To everywhere.

I would always have fresh flowers all over my home.

And I wouldn't worry and stress and pray every time I turned the key in the ignition of my beat up car or wrote a check or needed to buy my daughter a new pair of tap shoes or had to decide whether to work two more hours or spend time with my kids.  I wouldn't miss my family and friends so much because I would be able to see them whenever I wanted.

And I would enjoy every second.  Because I would be a fabulous lady who lunches.

Oct 1, 2009

the gift of hypnobirthing

One of the great gifts I received during my surrogacy was the skill of hypnobirthing.

At the time, I don't know if I really even knew what it was.  I think for a brief moment I thought that it had something to do with giving birth in water.  (Yeah, I know.)  My friends were gracious enough to send my husband and I to the class, and stayed with my kids while we were at the classes.

With my first pregnancy, I took two different classes (funny that - one with my husband, and one with my friend for whom I was now carrying her child).  They were typical childbirth education classes - taught us the stages of labor, breathing exercises, the screaming ugly birth video.

The learnings were all rendered useless when my three day labor with no progression turned into a Cesarean Section.  My naive, overly analytic self upon hearing the declaration by my doctor that surgery was inevitable, actually reached over for my What to Expect book and began frantically flipping the pages to the surgery chapter.

The next baby arrived after another three day labor, but this time I was adamant to bring her into the world without surgical intervention.  I did this with the help of a lovely epidural overdose (Push???  Doctor, I can't feel my body from the waist down.....)

One of the things our hypnobirthing instructor spent a lot of time emphasizing was the importance of advocating for yourself.  This was a very important message for me to hear, as although I am not necessarily shy about voicing my opinion on an issue, I am not at all skilled at getting what I need.  People generally blindly follow their doctor's advice for many reasons - they are supposed to be the experts.  And of course they are.  But they are not the expert at what is going on with MY body.  Which is why hearing the reminders to listen to my body, work with it, and ASK FOR WHAT I NEED AND WANT was such an important one.  It was a lesson that came into play when enforcing my birth plan and insisting on the VBAC my doctor and I agreed upon when the on-call doctor disagreed with the decision.  I respectfully yet sternly insisted that my wishes were adhered to.  (Not to mention an incredible support system that were able to stand up for me in times of weakness.  This is also a big part of the program and how it works most successfully.)

The heart of the pain management techniques were to work with your body.  It seems obvious, but think about it the next time you are getting a shot or giving blood.  Your instinct is to tense up.  Tensing and fighting what is happening increases the pain experience.  Relaxing, breathing, and working with your body can help to alleviate it.  Fighting against and agonizing over every contraction can make them more painful and less productive.  The key is working with your body to do what it is naturally designed to do.

The self-hynosis techniques that I learned gave me tools to redirect myself out of the experience and to give my subconscious mind another place to be without allowing my conscious brain to focus on the pain.  It was incredible to be able to be in full control of my experience.  It was empowering in a way that I would never have imagined.  And best of all, it was a three hour labor, completely in contrast from the bloody, painful, screaming childbirth image that most people have.  It was blessed, peaceful, quiet.  Strong.  Everything that it should be.

I have been able to use what I learned then many times over.  Whenever I am nervous I have tools to relax and calm myself down.  Whenever I need to deal with physical pain, I am able to redirect my mind away from the present and get through it easier.  If you had asked me a few years ago what it felt like to get a tattoo, I would have told you it was a dreadful stabbing experience.  When I got a new one a few months ago I was barely aware of what was happening, and felt minimal discomfort.  The same for shots or bloodwork.  I was the child who ran screaming from the examining room.  Now I don't tense, remember to breathe, and it's over before I have a chance to feel a thing.

I never dreamed that what I went into with such skepticism would end up becoming a lifelong skill.  I am very thankful for that!

Sep 30, 2009

mouthwash, phone numbers, and a couple thunkers questions (but not as many as i would have thought)

Welcome to the October 1st version of Thursday Thunks!

This week we will answer some crazy questions brought to you by
Kimber, the number uno and the color of the night in a moonless sky.

1. What color is your mouthwash?
It's, ummmmm....., I don't-use-any colored?  But I do brush and floss faithfully.  Does that count?

2. Do you remember your first phone number? Have you called it recently?
First, like when I was a baby?  I have moved over twenty times in my life.  So, yeah.  I don't remember it.  The earliest one I remember is......  329-1808.  And I don't even remember what area code it was, so I have no idea which phone number it is.  I'm guessing it was when I lived in OK?  So obviously I haven't called it recently.  Why would I do that?  I barely call my CURRENT phone number, let alone previous ones!

3. BPD in OKC's question- Do you have a super-secret hiding place and what's in it?
I have a couple not-so-super-secret hiding places.  I have already started Christmas shopping, and that stuff is tucked away.  Other than that, I don't have much worthy of a super-secret hiding spot.  Answering questions like this make me feel so vanilla.

4. When was the last time you used a pay phone? How much did it cost to make the call?
Crickey - I didn't even think those things still existed until I was way out in Podunk, USA a few weeks ago and saw one.  I couldn't believe it!  I haven't actually used one in so long I can't remember doing so, but I'd venture to guess it ran me a quarter or so.

5. What was that noise?
The sound of my hopes and dreams being crushed under the heel of the world's giant boot.
(Guess I am still a little ray of sunshine this evening...)

6. Stef H's question-how long is a woodpecker's pecker?
a.  Ewww.  And 2.  A woodpecker's pecker is as long as a woodpecker's pecker if a woodpecker would peck wood.  Or something like that.

7. How many comments did you receive on your last Thursday's Thunk?
Well let me look that up for you.....8.  And as a bonus, I leave you with........ BumpIts.

Sep 27, 2009


We are a family of campers who haven't been camping in waaaaaay too long.  This year, in absence of a decent camping trip, we have substituted the outdoorsy fun of tailgating.  This feeds our love of being outside in the fresh air, hanging out with good friends, eating too much yummy food, and of course - beer.  Today we joined in with about a hundred of our closest football fan friends for another tailgating good time.  It certainly did not disappoint as it was a picture perfect day.  Weather was amazing, food was great, group was entertaining, game was a blowout (in our team's favor.  Wooooo!). 

We have little cheerleaders and for the past several years have spent our fall Sundays on the sidelines supporting them.  Even so, when packing to tailgate for the first home game this season to support our alma mater, our youngest actually threw a fit about how SHE DID NOT WANT TO TAILGATE!!!  She obviously had no idea what she was being asked to do.  Now we're wearing wigs with team colors, sporting fresh sunburns, and are horse from screaming.  Good times I tell ya.  Good times.

Sep 24, 2009

lather up, laugh it up, and have a colorful day

Welcome to the September 24th version of Thursday Thunks!

This week we will answer some crazy questions brought to you by Kimber, the number 1172007 and the color of the walls in an asylum.

1. Does soap or shampoo have to really lather up for you to feel that it cleaned thoroughly?
You know what, I do!  I hate shampoo that doesn't lather good.  And I love body wash to be all bubbly too.  Never thought about it before, but yes!

2. Do you have a long standing joke with someone that you still laugh about every time you talk to that person?
Sooooo many......
I don't even own A gun.....

I don't see the legs!
I have something important to tell you.
If you like that sort of thing...
Walked into a church.  I passed along the way.

We have the same skin. 
Mama, I so tired.

Funny's my favorite.

3. Share something that happened to you this past week that was unusual.
I actually wore a bumpit in my hair.  I had big happy hair.  Just like you are supposed to have.

4. If you dropped a purple crayon and a green crayon off a roof, which would melt faster in the sun?
I am once again more concerned with the circumstances than the result.  Why the heck am I up on the roof throwing crayons off and waiting for them to melt?  I can think of a dozen more interesting things to do up there.

5. You are standing in line (grocery store, bank, etc.), and someone gets in line behind you that stinks. The stink is so bad that people in line in front of you turn around and look to see if you are the one causing the stink. Do you cover your nose, hold your breath, breathe through your mouth or just get out of line altogether?
Well first, I make some kind of squishy face and roll my eyes and make it pretty darn clear that the stink is coming from somewhere BEHIND me.  I'm not taking the blame for that bit of nasty.  I mean, it's not like I'm just going to throw my groceries on the floor and run out or anything, but....Then I start edging forward and away from the source. 

6. If you dropped your cell phone in the toilet, would you fish it out? If so, how much soap would you use to wash your hands afterwards?
OMG - I would be piiiiissssssssssed.  I would be forced to fish it out.  Actually, I would probably force hubby to fish it out.  Then look up the cost of replacement.  And hope to God the sim card made it out alive.
 And of course, lots and lots and lots of soap all around.  (This is all regardless of the state of the toilet, in case that is a factor for people.)

7. Sydney Australia dust storm (clicky). How long do you think it would take you to clean your house after that sort of dust storm?
Isn't that CRAZY???  I didn't even click the link.  An online friend posted picks earlier today.  Everything was glowing orange, even the dog.  Never saw anything like it!  Not sure how long it would take to clean up after - a lifetime or so?

8. Do you think you can dance?
So I think I can dance, dance, dance, dance........
No, I don't.  I feel like a dork dancing.  But love to do it anyways.  As long as I am not being forced (i.e. C'mon, c'mon, c'mon - get on the dance floor with us!!!)
9. You are out to eat and someone across the room is staring at you. Do you get paranoid, try to ignore them, or go find out why they are staring at you?
I like to go the stare right back at them route.  It's a classic.

10. Come up with a crazy, wacky Thursday Thunk question.
I hate this.  I suck at it.  But ok, here goes........
What is something you have said to someone that you wish you could take back?

Happy Thursday, Y'All!!! 

Sep 22, 2009

i have feelings. so sue me.

One of the things I don't do well is express my feelings.

I spend most of the time squashing things down deep and putting on a shiny happy mask and making a joke or turning the focus away from myself.

Why do I do this?

Well, because when I open up and share I feel judged or crazy or not cared for or misunderstood.

The truth is, sometimes things are NOT rosy and perfect and great.  And that doesn't always mean that things are the worst or as bad as the next guy has it, but FOR ME they are not good. 

Why can't I just be allowed to have that, fercryinoutloud?!

I have no healthy connections in my life where I can safely outlet these feelings.  A normal friendship or relationship or whatever where I listen to someone and they listen to me.


This past year for me has had more than its share of crap.  And when I can no longer hold it all in and manage it quietly to myself, I am mocked and called a DRAMA QUEEN.  Further confirmation of my lack of any true friendships.

I can't even believe that I am saying all this here, just need to offload somewhere before I freaking explode.  I am so damn tired of being so damn lonely.

Sep 2, 2009

these are the moments

The kids started back to school last Thursday, and this is our first full week of school.  My schedule has changed, and now I am home with them when they get home from school.  It is such a shift from the way things were last year.  I am so happy to be able to be there with them and for them. 

I just wish I had a better handle on the schedule shift!

It seems one of the big first week of school projects this year is to decorate a composition notebook.  Excellent!  Girls, please step into my office and let's dig through the scrap supplies.  They were thrilled to have open access to the paper, stickers, die cuts.....  They were both expressing their thankfulness for having such a scrappy mom!

One of the girls remembered that I had told her last year what she owed me for such services, and she wanted to know if she could just put this year's stuff "on her tab."  Great.  I have already taught her how to shop on credit.

On our adventures through town we passed by a truck labeled "Wastewater Service."  My daughter wanted to know why there was a service to waste water.  "Yes," I told her, "that is where you go to just dump buckets of water out, and waste the water."  Then I explained to her what a wastewater service was.  I timed it perfectly as we passed the wastewater treatment plant.  I guess she never thought about that whole process before.  She was practically vomitting and declared that she would never be drinking or using water again.  Well good luck with that, I told her.  Then she wanted to know, Does the water that comes out of the refrigerator come from there?  Is there water in Juice?  Is there water in milk?  How about milkshakes?  She was totally skeeved.  I was sure to have a giant glass of water when we got home.

I have been coming to realize that my girls are clever, and they are starting to learn their ways around the system.  Good for them actually, because that is how real life works.  We pass an ice cream shop at the end of the street, so have to go by it just about every time we leave the house and return.  I have recently put a ban on asking "Can we get ice cream?"  So instead, yesterday they began to gear up on our approach past the ice cream shop by discussing amongst themselves how much they enjoy ice cream.  Not getting a proper reaction from me, they just began discussing louder and louder how refreshing and delicious ice cream would be. What could I do?  They did not technically ask for some, thus had not broken my rule.  Well played.

These are the moments, folks.  These are the moments I have been yearning for.  And I am blessed to have them.

Aug 28, 2009

friday fill-ins #139 we go!  My answers are in blue.

1. He was a misanthropic piece of garbage.

2. The return of beautiful fall days is what I look forward to most this time of year.

3. My best friend is a position that is available.  Would you care for an application?

4. In order to build true bonds, you must be honest with me and allow me to be honest with you.

5. Appearances can be a means to making ridiculous and completely inaccurate judgments.

6. The last person I gave a hug to was my little Sweetie.  She is always such a ray of sunshine.

7. And as for the weekend, tonight I'm looking forward to resting my weary bones, tomorrow my plans include making the most of hurricane conditions and Sunday, I want to clean up all the messy muckies!

Aug 26, 2009

bs, dog kisses, memories, and you guessed it.....more!

Welcome to the August 27th version of Thursday Thunks!
This week we will answer some crazy questions brought to you by
Kimber, the number of kids I have and the color of dead roses.

1. Have you ever played Bullshit?
I have! We played it for the duration of the twelve hour bus trip to Toronto back in high school. In between Truth or Dare games of course, where I made Jodi kiss Brent. Ha ha!!!
I don't remember how to play it anymore though. Oh well.

2. A dog licks you on your face. Are you disgusted or thinking it was sweet?
I dry heaved just reading this question. I am sooo not a dog person. Dog slobber is one of the reasons why. Blech!

3. Tell us about a fun/special memory you have of a grandparent.
When we went to Nigeria and met my grandmother for the first time, she met us at the airport. My parents were dealing with paperwork or customs or something, and I remember standing on one side of a sliding door with my sisters, and a woman standing on the other side smiling so big and waving. She recognized us instantly, but she didn't speak English and didn't know what to say. She was just so happy and crying and waving, as the door slide open and closed, open and closed. It was a great moment, meeting her for the first time.

4. Have you ever pet a rat?
On purpose??? Uh, no.

5. If I walked into your kitchen, where are the cups?
In the cup cabinet? I don't get this question. Where else do cups go? Measuring cups? Cabinet. Coffee cups? Cabinet. Cup of sugar? Cabinet. Bra cups? On my chest.

6. Since you already let me in your home, I found the cup and had water, now where's the bathroom from the kitchen?
Just past the cups on the left. It has bright red walls, and the washer and dryer are in there. Feel free to do a load while your in there. And don't forget to wash your hands.

7. Have you ever pet a turtle or tortoise?
I've touched them, but what is there to pet? I'm not sure human nor turtle derive any satisfaction from petting a turtle shell. That would be the equivalent of someone petting the roof of my house.

Aug 21, 2009


On my way to work yesterday there was a loaf of bread on the side of the highway. It was so weird! Just a loaf of bread sitting on the side of the highway!

Then while running errands around town last night, I saw a loaf of bread on a sidewalk. What the heck????

People are losing their bread all over the place!!

This recession is worse than I thought.


Aug 17, 2009

tell me what you like about yourself

I have been watching Nip/Tuck. If you've never seen it, it is a bizarre drama about two plastic surgeons and their crazy personal and professional mishaps. When they meet a client for a consult, they always begin with, "Tell me what you don't like about yourself." This prompts the client to expose their insecurities. It is an effective tool for them to diagnose what is "broken" with a patient, and accordingly "fix" them with new boobs, noses, facelifts, or what have you. The irony is, the deeper the answer to the question runs, the less effective the plastic surgery is at solving said problem.

Today on a whim while running out the door to pick up my kids from practice, I typed into my Facebook status, "Tell me what you like about yourself."

After only three hours, there are 25 responses. And they are pretty incredible. It was so fascinating to watch it unfold. To see people courageous enough to stand up and recognize their own amazingness - well, it's not something I get to experience everyday. I am surrounded by strong, beautiful, loving, hard-working, spiritually fulfilling people, and I am blessed to have been enveloped in their positivity today.

Here is what they have to say about themselves:

  • I'm a pretty good cook, and master of my grill.
  • nothing at the moment :( [note from tosin - this is not true. The person who wrote this is beautiful, kind, funny, and generous. She has low self-esteem, but I still love her for all those reasons I just mentioned and more!]
  • i think i'm pretty smart and well, just pretty too
  • I think I may be smart.
  • That I'm stronger than I thought I was!
  • I never give up, and believe in my self.
  • That I am a great mom and fun and loving person.
  • I'm constantly active. Can't go more than 3 days without doing some form of exercise. Helps me keep up with my girl and keeps the hormones level. Hubby really appreciates the latter!
  • I think I am a nice person - at least I try to be. I also think I am a wonderful wife, mother and grandmama even though sometimes I wonder if they think the same!
  • That I've made it this far, and am giving my kids a better life than I had (even if I CAN'T buy Chase a quad!).
  • tenacity and perseverance.
  • I like that I didn't follow in my mother's footsteps
  • I see the big picture, and can analyze things from every angle. It makes me an effective problem solver.
  • I'm also a good problem solver. I refuse to let myself get overwhelmed or sidetracked by the little things. I always try to remember that someone's got it worse than me. Oh, and I have gorgeous blue eyes.
  • I like that I'm so "HOT" in all of the pics taken at scrapping retreats! [note from tosin: She also has a great sense of humor, and is a lot of fun!]
  • I married a good man.
  • that I have my master's degree and I can take care of myself!
  • I like my laugh~
  • I like that I care about people & like to help anyone that I can & try to look at the bright side of things.
  • I can sing wierd song in scary situations 8) nuff said haha [note from tosin: this girl is more mature than her years, is kind to her "elders", and made me laugh so hard I couldn't breathe for a whole weekend! And I don't know why on earth she thinks Take on Me by AHa could possibly be "weird"]
  • I'm different.
  • that I'm a momma, it only took 8 1/2 years.

I am surrounded by AMAZING. There is the proof. Join the movement. Please leave a comment and tell me what you LIKE about yourself.

Aug 15, 2009


Sometimes I really wrestle with making sense of things - what I've been given and how to make all the pieces fit together. How to reconcile what I imagined things to be with what they have become. It is such a difficult journey. Going back to decision making, I think that the hardest ones are when forced to choose between two options where neither is desired. Somehow, there is always the inexplicable third choice that is not actually an option. I have always had trouble letting go of that unattainable choice to properly evaluate those realistic options left before me are the most viable and appealing.

I just watched a documentary, Boy Interrupted, about a boy who committed suicide at age 15. His parents were film-makers and created the documentary as their means of sharing his story and further their healing. One of the things that struck me the most was his suicide note. He was able to rationally identify and evaluate the pros and cons of living vs. dying, but in the end could not see past the intense burning need in him to end his own life. He wasn't able to make a rational choice with that burning knowledge of what his mind was telling him he needed to do. It is an extreme case, but I do understand being so hyper-aware of something that it colors good judgment.

Aug 12, 2009

questions about this and that and that other thing

Welcome to the August 13th version of Thursday Thunks!

This week we will answer some crazy questions brought to you by
Kimber, the number 4812 and the color of storm clouds.

1. Hypothetical question- you are in a building with famous works of art, old manuscripts of famous novels, and original sheet music from famous composers. The building is on fire and looks to be completely destroyed. Do you grab any of the famous works before fleeing, and if so what?
I suppose I would try to grab the lot. Well, not the art if it is cumbersome. And the manuscripts are probably bulky as well. And am I really supposed to be able to make out pages of sheet music in a pile of burning rubble?
Wait, why am I standing in a burning building that is completely destroyed and contains originals of this many artistic items? I am assuming that my own life is not at risk? (Ah, this is where the hypothetical part comes in.) Yep, then I'd grab the lot. I am a sucker for all things creative and artistic.

2. In August 1969, the Manson family went on a 2 night killing spree. Do you think 40 years later they have paid for their crimes?
I don't know nuthin 'bout no Manson killing spree.

3. Power Outage! What's the longest you have been without power?
5 days. And trust me when I say, it's too damn long.

4. Just bought a new tazer gun. Will you let it be tested it on you to see if it works, and how it feels to be tazered?
Tell me someone else reading this has seen The Hangover? (Not you, Fat Jesus. Slide it on back...)

5. A neighbor's mail was delivered to you. In it is a magazine not wrapped in plastic. Is it ok for you to flip through it before giving it to the neighbor? Do you tell them you looked through it?
Ok, well since you are obligating me to give it to them (yeah, yeah, I would have anyways... Geez!!) If it was of interest I might flip through. And I'm not sure I would mention it. That would feel weird.

6. If I went through your purse/wallet right now, what all would I find in there?
Let's take a look, shall we? Makeup bag, wallet - with no cash whatsoever, brush with a broken handle, pen, notebook, mints, lotion, Advil, receipts, sunglasses, a broken bracelet, a broken ring, checkbook, napkins, chapstick, tampons, dance schedule, pictures, and Lisa's birthday card.

7. Have you been living under a rock?
It's so quiet and cool under here. Please don't let anyone know where I've been hiding. Thanks.

8. Tell us something crazy you did this week.
Ok, I'll tell, but let's keep it amongst ourselves, shall we? I considered some major life changes. And they're crazy. And that's all I have to say about that.

Aug 10, 2009


Oh my goodness. I really feel incapable of making the right decisions sometimes. I think I am so paralyzed at having to make important decisions on my own that impact others, or that the effects of what I am doing feel so monumental, or that choosing a particular option will involve more work than I am willing to take on. Then I blindly jump in and go with whatever feels best in the moment. Ugh! I don't really know if I am actually making bad decisions, or am given bad circumstances with which to make the best decisions I can considering.

How do you know what the right thing to do is when faced with these situations? What kind of thought process or metric do you follow? I would love to hear different approaches.

Aug 6, 2009

questions much to do about nothing

Welcome to the August 6th version of Thursday Thunks!

This week we will answer some crazy questions brought to you by Berleen, the number 1 and the color of the crap under your shoe.

1. What the hell were you thinking?
Dude. I NEVER know what the hell I am thinking. I am too worried about what the hell everyone else is thinking. What the hell were YOU thinking???

2. The tornado sirens go off in your neighborhood - what do you do?
Pause to wonder when we passed the town budget to include entirely unnecessary weather alert systems.

When I lived in an area where this question actually applied, if it is noon on Friday, just go about my business. Any other time, step outside to watch the clouds swirl.

(Yes I know. What happens if a tornado hits at noon on Friday? Dude! We are screwwwwwed!!!)

3. Give us a recipe.
1 Stick
1 Marshmallow
3 Squares of a Hershey bar
2 Graham Crackers

Preheat campfire all evening until there is a nice bed of hot coals. Put the marshmallow on the end of the stick. Hold it low to the coals, out of the direct flame, and slowly rotate. Heat to a nice golden brown. Do not set the marshmallow on fire. It might look cool, but it tastes gross. Anyone who says otherwise is a liar and a wiseass. While roasting the marshmallow, have a friend place the chocolate squares on one of the graham crackers. When the marshmallow is ready, place it on the chocolate and have your friend put the graham on top and pull the marshmallow off the stick. Eat, and say mmmmmmm.

4. It's the middle of the night, there isn't a car in sight and you are stuck at a red light that just won't change.... how long do you wait until you run it?
Not very long, especially if I am in a more rural area. I will readily admit to doing this more often than not. For someone married to a guy who puts those things up for a living, I just don't seem to have very much respect for them.

5. When was the last time you got all dressed up fancy-like? Where did you go?
I'd like to think that every day I am all fancy-like. Are you saying my frayed jeans and sweatshirt aren't fancy? Ok, I am not fancy. Even whilst purposely trying to be so. I am frumpy by design. Good grief, is this blatant stall actually covering for the fact that I can't think of the last time I went anywhere requiring me to be even remotely fancy? I guess I've gone out for a few nice dinners where I gave a go at not looking like I just got off the treadmill. Phew, yeah. I don't know......

6. Have you ever had a mole removed?
Actually, there was a dead one in the garden recently, and I certainly had hubby remove that sucker right away!
Wait, what?

7. Are you in an area of record highs or record lows for the temps this summer? Are you lucky and stuck in the middle where it's somewhat normal?
I am in the record suck area. If it rains one more day I swear to G*d I am going to jump.

8. When was the last time you changed your furnace filter?
I am pretty sure we have a guy for that.

9. What's your favorite type of frog?
Blue poison dart frog. Duh.

10. If you were to go on America's Got Talent, what would you do for your talent? (and choosing not to go is not an option....)
Flaming Baton twirling. I have already choreographed my routine. Why aren't they calling?

11. Have you ever been on a rooftop of a building?
Yes. The last time it rained and I was considering jumping. Then I realized it was only a two story building and the worst that probably would happen was a broken bone, and that would just be more of an inconvenience than anything else. And it probably isn't good for the cast to get that wet in ALL THIS RAIN.

12. What is the first website you go to each day when you sit down at your computer, other than your email?
iGoogle. It is my homepage. And has allllll my loverly apps for all my favorite stuff.

Have a great week, y'all! Peace out!!

Aug 2, 2009

mindless meme

1) Right now I want: My kiddos home. I miss them soooooo much.

2) I wish I knew how to: Play piano. We are getting a piano, as soon as I figure out how to get it moved. I hope someday I will be able to take lessons.

3) When I want to indulge myself, I: Eat something I shouldn't. Shop. Mani/Pedi. Ahhhhh.

4) You’ll never see me: Satisfied and settled. Always striving for more....

5) A childhood memory that I love: My sisters and I loved the water so much. When we went to the freezing New England ocean we wouldn't ever want to get out of the icy water. After wearing ourselves out swimming, we would still stay in the water floating around. To entertain ourselves we would start singing "California Dreaming" by the Mamas and the Papas. I'm not sure why we even knew that song at the time, but we would stand in that water singing that song for hours!

6) 2 things I do every single day: take my vitamins, check my email

7) Happiest moment of 2009, so far: Nothing specific comes to mind (weird?), but time spent with my family and time spent with my friends has all been great.

8) Describe yourself in 3 words: nothing comes easy

9) 2 scrap related goals for this year: Organize my photos. It is MOSTLY done. But it needs to be all the way done. Then I can start printing my digi stuff and get working on that. I have been holding back on printing for that reason. Secondly, I would like to start the Disney stuff. I will be very excited to work on that.

10) You have $40 that you MUST spend on yourself – what do you do with it? I would probably get a pedicure. Flip flop season is here! - here's hoping this mandatory 40 bucks falls out of the sky soon!

Jul 31, 2009

this is what anxiety looks like

This is what anxiety looks like.......

"Call me!"
They want me to call. I'm going to call. Where's the phone? The cell doesn't get a good signal here. I want to talk to this person. What do I have to do for the rest of the night? I'm going to sort that pile of papers. I need to make this call. Do I know what I am going to say? Am I going to sound weird? I am going to say something stupid. I don't want to talk. I hate the stupid phone. I never know how to gracefully end the call. Maybe we can text/email/facebook/im instead. Why do they want to talk to me? I want to talk. I can't talk. Maybe we can meet up for coffee.

"Would you like to come over for dinner?"
What the heck should I make for dinner? I can only make pasta. Nobody wants to eat that. It is too ordinary. I know how to cook. I am a good cook! Why can't I think of any ideas? What if I cook something and it doesn't come out right? What if I try something new and it's gross? I have no idea what to do. Is my house clean? Am I going to be able to clean it in time? I don't have any groceries in the house. Should I make dessert? I think I am going to be sick.
"How about we go out for dinner instead?"
"Uh, ok?"

"Did you get that report finished?"
"Not yet. I will have it to you by tomorrow."
I should turn it in the way it is. But it is not perfect. It needs so much work. I need to edit it. I read an article once that had a great quote that I could include. Maybe I could put this into a presentation format that will really impress them! I just found another error. I am going to rewrite this paragraph. Now it doesn't make sense. I am going to add another section. This needs an image. I don't have enough time! Why are they pressuring me! They don't respect me! They think I'm an idiot!! I need a new job.

"What a crazy night! You guys were a mess! Did you see the pictures?"
"Oh. Yeah. It was fun."
OMG. Was I too drunk? Too loud? Did I offend someone? Did I say something stupid? I shouldn't have said that to her. Now she's probably mad at me. Did I buy enough rounds? Was I polite? Are they sick of me? They aren't going to invite me back. Everyone thinks I look fat in the pictures. Because I am fat. Did I eat too much when we were out? I spilled and now everyone thinks I am a sloppy jerk. I am disgusting.

I am so tired. I can't sleep. I have too much to do to lay down now. If I don't go to bed now I will not be able to wake up on time. I never wake up on time. I am a loser. I can never do anything right. Ugh. I wonder who else is up. Do you think anyone would want to talk to me? Doubt it. I am not funny, or smart, and I am mean. I don't have any friends because of that. This week is never going to end. Time passes too quickly though. I wonder if I have any clean jeans to wear tomorrow. If we go out this weekend I am not going to have anything to wear and I am going to look fat and gross. I am not going to go anywhere ever. I am sooooo tired. I need to fall asleep right now or I'm not going to have more than 3 and 1/2 hours of sleep. I can't stop thinking thinking thinking thinking thinking. I need to count. 100....99......98......97.......96.......95.......94........................................................

Jul 29, 2009

a bunch of stupid questions by kimber and an all points bulletin for sunny downs

A Bunch Of Stupid Questions By Kimber

Welcome to the July 30th version of Thursday Thunks!

This week we will answer some crazy questions brought to you by
Kimber, the number 14 and the color of life. (2 questions by Ber, figure out which 2.)

1. You are in an enclosed space with a group of friends. Elevator, auto, small room, etc.. You fart and it really stinks. Do you take credit for it or do you play along with the questioning of who did it?
Dude - I am NOT owning up to that! :) In fact, I may even choose one of you suckas to blame it on! (Ewwww!!! You stannnnnkkk!!!!!)

2. You are locked in a room sitting at a desk with just a piece of paper and a purple crayon. What do you draw?
I can't draw. I am more of a doodler. I would probably start swirling and twirling all over the page until it was completely covered in my purple haze.

3. Do you ever pee in the shower?
No. And don't you pee in my shower either.

4. Have you bought, sold or got rid of something on Craigslist?
I haven't. I find the way it is organized too confusing and it is chock full of spam. I just haven't found it useful or user friendly.

5. You are in a convenience store. In the line in front of you is a drunk guy trying to purchase more alcohol. The cashier tells him they cannot sell it to him because he is obviously already intoxicated. He gets belligerent. The cashier is scared. What do you do?
I think my answers to the last few sets of questions should show by now that I am a person of inaction. I would probably just make sympathetic faces at the cashier and Jedi mind trick the drunk to move along.

6. While shopping for produce, do you "sample" before you buy (i.e. grapes)?
I don't. That stuff's dirty. Of course, once I get it home I may just pop one in my mouth without washing. I can't even explain why that's rational.

7. You are walking down the street and there is a toddler sitting on a bench by themselves in front of a store - do you just keep walking?
Did whoever write this question ever actually HAVE a toddler? Because I have NEVER seen one just sit still for any reason. As if it was that easy..... :)

8. Have you looked up an old friend and/or lover online?
I do. And she is like a missing person or something, because I can't find her. If anyone knows Sunny Downs, and where she is now, please tell me. Maybe she will google herself one day and this entry will come up! Call me! It's Tosin!!!

9. You are nearly in a car/auto accident. Do you freak out, follow the person who nearly caused it & talk to them or just keep going?
Beep, swear, flip them the bird, beep again, tail them for a minute, realize my kids are in the car, gain composure, and move about my day as normal.

Have a stellar week!! Peace out, Y'All!!

Jul 27, 2009

the simple woman's daybook - july 27th edition

For Today...

Outside my window... the most beautiful, immense, serene, luscious green trees.

I am thinking... how very much I miss my babies and want them back in my arms!

From the learning rooms... project management and setting boundaries. Tough work.

I am thankful for... my upcoming schedule change which will allow more time with my children.

From the kitchen... big pot of Nigerian soup. So yummy, spicy, delicious, and comforting!

I am wearing... green shirt, brown capris, brown flip-flops, and fresh ink. Heehee!

I am reading... A Tree Grows in Brooklyn. I am really enjoying it so far!

I am hoping... today is not an indicator of how the entire week will be.

I am creating... a calmer environment to live in.

I am praying...for financial peace.

Around the house... lots of changes! A lot of rooms have moved.

One of my favorite things... music.

A few plans for the rest of the week... finish up some house projects, family style dinner with some friends, get schedules in place for August.

Here is a picture thought I am sharing with you...
This was taken moments ago sitting at my desk.

Jul 22, 2009

it's the july 23rd version of thursday thunks without a catchy title

Welcome to the July 23rd version of Thursday Thunks!

This week we will answer some crazy questions brought to you by
Berleen, the number 22 and the color of the last road kill you saw.

1. You walk into a store and the cashier is being held up by a robber. The robber's accomplice is dead on the floor at your feet with a shotgun laying next to him. The robber does not see you, but the cashier does - what do you do?

Turn my @ss around, walk out of the store, and call 911 from the car. Quietly.

2. We go to an ice cream shop for an ice cream cone. You say you are buying and I am going to stay in the car. You ask me what I want and I say "surprise me", what kind of ice cream cone am I going to get?

This question stresses me out. That tactic of yours is only going to encourage me to read you the entire menu and comment on the pros and cons of each option. That's not what you want is it? Now pick something so I can order fercryinoutloud. And if it matters, I am ordering myself something with Heath or peanut butter or coffee. In a dish. Cuz I'm messy.

3. You have a dream that your co-worker, friend or whoever is hit by a garbage truck after they back into a ladder with a black cat on it. The next day you see that person standing by a ladder with a black cat on it and there is a garbage truck driving down the road.... what do you do?

Yell, "Good Grief!! Learn from your mistakes!!!" Then shove their stupid behind out of the way of the truck.

4. What is the most money you've won on a lottery or scratch off ticket?
Maybe $100? I have to stay away from gambling for the most part due to my completely addictive personality.

5. A neighbor kid down the street comes to your door and offers to wash all of your windows outside for $10 - do you have him do it?
Sure. My neighbor kids are pretty decent. And I sure as heck don't want to wash the windows myself. I might even offer a few more dollars to weed the gardens.

6. Go to Google Images. Type in the name of the last movie you saw. Post the first picture that comes up.

7. Your local animal shelter calls you and says there are 3 dogs that need an immediate foster home for 3 days. If you do not accept, the dogs are put down that day. Do you take them in?
I would never be able to take care of them properly. I would help find someone to care for them though.

Wait..... why is the shelter calling me randomly like this? Is this related to that auto glass place that called? The robbers are familiar too???? Are you guys ripping your own questions off? :)

8. What is the messiest room in your home?
All of them. Help yourself to any cleaning that you like.

9. Have you ever been to a wedding that participated in a strange tradition that you had never heard of?
Oh my..... they are all starting to run together now. Nothing is really jumping out at me as anything unique. And what does that tell you? All that money spent, and I can't think of a single standout moment.

10. Name one sport that you just don't get.

11. What was the last email that came into your inbox about?
Vacation. One I will probably never get to take.

12. Have you ever purchased anything from a sex shop? Extra points if you tell us what it was....
What kind of bonus points? What can I purchase with them?

13. Go back to that Google Images link... type in the last food item that you ate. Post the 2nd picture it comes up with.

14. Got any bumper stickers on your vehicle? What are they?
I hate bumper stickers. It was ingrained in me as a kid not to devalue the resell value of anything. As that's as much as I'd like to delve into the root of my neuroses for one evening.

15. What meme question do you wish was never asked again?
I'm up for whatever. Ask away.