Jan 31, 2010


I have incredible faith.  It is what has carried me through my entire life.  When I have been the most lost, it is what has guided me.  I don't understand why it seems that there are so many rough roads I must travel in life to reach my destination, but it has always been my journey.  I have to be broken down before I can be built up.  It is why I have such a deep appreciation for what I have and it is also why I always have the resolve to continue forward.

Jan 28, 2010

thunking in abscence of original thought

Welcome to the January 21st version of Thursday Thunks!
This week we will answer some crazy questions brought to you by Berleen, the color white chocolate caramel and the number 0.   (My answers in bold.)

1. Pants on the Ground....  No.  Stop it.  I don't watch that show anymore, and refuse to Google the video.  I also would not watch that baby dance video.  I also don't post copycat Facebook statuses.  Really, stop it.  Right now.
2. To compliment Kimber's question from last week.... have you ever fell down the stairs?  I didn't do last weeks thunks, so I don't know what the question was, but I fall down AND up the stairs with more regularity than what is probably normal for a person my age.

3. Have you ever written to a company about their product? Ever called them?  Oh, hell yes.  I am one of THOSE.  I have worked in customer service enough to have both a high tolerance for the poor saps doing the job, and a breaking point and persistence to know that when I have had enough that I will keep going until my voice is heard.

4. Your dog/cat/snake/iguana/pet skunk (or just fill in your pet's species) goes to the vet. Ok, you take them to the vet... most pets wouldn't go on their own. The vet tells you that your species has cancer. Do you:
  • a. tell them to pull out the needle and put them to sleep on the spot
  • b. take them home and let them live out their life until the end
  • c. same as b. except you don't let them get to the suffering stage
  • d. go full steam ahead with cancer treatments
Ohhhhhhh.  My cat has cancer and had surgery this week.  It didn't work.  Days are numbered.  :(   
I am not a pet person, and if you asked me I would tell you that I would NEVER drop a bunch of cash into saving a pet.  Until the rare occasions that my pets need it, then I get all soft and sad and do what I have to do for them.
So, to answer the question, we are probably at c.

5. What is your favorite comfort food?  Carbs.  Or ice cream.

6. If your child was put in jail for putting a gun in their spouses mouth and pulling the trigger (even though the gun wasn't loaded), strangling them and breaking their arm... would you post bail for them?   Is that what Charlie Sheen did on Christmas?  I doubt I would ever have the cash to post bail for anyone.  But for my child I bet I would work it out.  Plus, I have girls, so if they are capable of doing such a thing to their spouse, the spouse is either way weak, or has it coming.

7. If elephants had wings, how many feathers do you think they would have on each wing?  Really?  I don't even care how many feathers are on the wings of animals that are supposed to have them.

8. Is there anything growing in your refrigerator right now?  Cleaned it out yesterday.
9. What did you do with your Thursdays while we were on a break?  I didn't thunk.  In fact, I didn't even blog in protest.  Did it work?  :)

10. Would you donate to the Kimber Ark Building Fund and donate wood? She is about to float away after all...   Is this like that Evan Almighty movie?  Drowning in snow this winter, Kimber.  Trade?

11. If I were to send you a letter and I wanted to put a little heart sticker on the back of the envelope, what color sticker would you like it to be?  I love mail!!  Let's be penpals!!  Use any color you want - just write!!  Too desperate?  Then just leave a comment, ok?  Somebody??  Anybody???

Jan 21, 2010


I have not been able to figure out what to write here.  I hate staring at the blank page and not having any inspiration.  I hate that I haven't been up to much or interacting with people or working so that I have precious little anecdotes to share.

Instead there is only this blank page...............

Any requests for a topic???

Jan 6, 2010


I was going through my archives, and found the following in my drafts, which I wrote last year.......... wrestling as I always do, with who I am and where I fit in this world.  All I know is that it is a constant search, and a journey I may be on for the rest of my life.  But as long as I keep moving forward, the discovery will be worth the effort.


Sometimes I feel like an onion who is not able to peel away the layers. It's like I know they are there, but don't feel safe to expose the center. I feel like my time has come to get right with myself and true to myself. It seems as though the more I am able to see my true self the more I am realize that not everything I am doing fits just right, and at the same time I see more clearly the areas that I enjoy and can put more attention into. There are some things that need to change. I wish I had the courage to move ahead. Sometimes I can be so strong, but mostly I feel so weak. I think that sometimes it takes a long time to get to the point where you see the truth, and then the next step is mustering the courage to take action on it. I am starting to see that the layers need to be peeled, I just need the strength it will take to peel them.

Jan 3, 2010

this is my time

A new year has started, and it seems the overall opinion has been good riddance to 2009, and welcome 2010.  I can't say that I disagree.  The year was certainly filled with its fair share of personal struggles and challenges that I am glad to leave in the past.

In  order to see things in a better light, this is also the end of a decade. When looking at the larger chunk of time, things were not so bad.  My family has still had struggles and challenges, but they have mostly made us stronger and better equipped to handle the new challenges we face. 

I am still unemployed, and apprehensive and nervous about how it will play out.  I am trying to approach it as an opportunity to make changes for the better.  Hopefully I will receive the support I need to do so, and more importantly have the strength regardless of the support.

The past decade has included our wedding, births, deaths, the purchase of our first home, sacrifice, reward, and the shift from entering adulthood to settling into ourselves. 

If asked then where I would be today, I know I thought I would be more settled and secure than I am.  Now I wonder if that will ever be the case.  I was so much more carefree back then and always had a good time, but made bad decisions that have followed me.  Fortunately, I also made some good ones that are also still with me.

Overall, I am hopeful and excited that this next decade will be our time.  I had a mentor once counsel me strongly to examine what it is I truly cherished in life, and to make it my reality.  This is my time.  THIS  IS MY TIME.