ok. yeah. whatever.

I am feeling blog-blocked, so I am just going to go with a stream of conscienceness.

I have so much going on and so much to say, that I have no idea why I'm not putting it all here. I guess I'm just still having a problem putting it OUT THERE, ya know? Ah well. I'm still learning.

In other news, I am newly employed. I'm not so sure how I really feel about it, so I'll just have to get back to you on that. We'll see how it goes. But since I am also newly OLD, I guess it is time to grow up and be responsible. Or whatever. Ha!

So I guess drinking a Mike's Light on a Thursday night by myself while blogging is probably not the best start at responsibility, huh? Too damn bad. *grin*

My cell phone has a bajillion minutes rolled over on it to the point that they are now expiring. So, please. CALL. ME. (Please refer to the previous post where I promise to pick up. No, seriously.)

I seem to be at a point in life where things seem to be lining up for me ok, but everyone around me is falling apart. I hate it. It only seems to highlight my helplessness and ineffectuality. Sometimes all I can do is pray. But I am really trying to BE there. It's all I have to give sometimes.

I am in great and dire need of a creative release. This mostly stems from the fact that I have not scrapped since I've been back. It's been months! Someone please take mercy on me and join me for a scrapfest. I NEED it!!

I think my house is just about unpacked enough that I can finally install The Sims on the new computer. But maybe I should just wait until I get through that basket of papers staring me in the face. When I can't remember what all is in there anymore, it is time to deal with it. Past time really. Blech.

I'm thinking about getting new glasses. I want to get the kind that have black plastic frames. But when I try them on, it doesn't look right. Maybe I should just get them anyways and see if I can just get used to them. I need Transistions lenses, but I don't know how well they work. Anyone have experience with that? If I wasn't too much of a wimp to get contacts I would just go that route. But until I can at least watch DH put his in or take them out, I'm thinking that it is NOT the best idea. Bad eyes -- I'm old. :)

Ok, that's it. Now get off the 'puter and call me (let's use some minutes!).

hurry up and wait

Today is a very hard day.

Today I am playing the "hurry up and wait" game.

This is NOT my favorite game.

I hope things turn out okay. I am very worried.

mr. watson. come here. i need you.

Ok, so maybe posting that you don't answer your phone is not exactly the best idea as it results in phone messages like "I KNOW you're ignoring me. Pick up, pick up, pick up!" or "Call me back! Do you understand me?! Stop ignoring your phone!!"

Alright, alright.

Not answering my phone is NOT good. Not returning calls is WORSE.

So here's the new policy... for one week only... on a trial basis...

I am answering my phone. Call me and see. If not, leave a message. I'll call you back.
No, really!

I'm trying, ok? I don't want to become a hermit. I've seen what that looks like, and it is not pretty.
Plus, I love you guys! I really, really do.

TALK to you later!
:)

more proof that i'm old

We were sitting around talking with DH's family and for reasons I cannot even remember at this point I made the joke "I carried a watermelon." BIL and his girlfriend just looked at me. They had NO IDEA where "I carried a watermelon" was even from. It was before their time.

Cause I'm OLD.

everyday love

What is love?

Love is in the little things.

The sugar high is fast and furious around here. We've been making ourselves sick on Easter candy for the last four days. Our baskets are still overflowing with more than any family will ever need in a lifetime. DH tends towards the sugar candies and I go for the chocolate treats - it's the perfect balance. For some reason the kids prefer the Peeps...Blech! They can have them!

Today DH finally came across the coveted red Starburst. After countless packs of substandard yellows and oranges he finally found one!

"Yes! A red one!" he declared.
"Ooh red! My favorite!" I said without thinking.

He tossed it over to me without hesitation. He wouldn't take it back. And it was delicious!

Around here, giving up the red Starburst is true love.

Cause love is in the little things.

aging?

I'm getting old. The inevitable has happened. I looked in the mirror today and saw somebody's mother. WTF? How did this happen? I got an email from a good friend and she subtley reminded me just how old we have become. We're not kids anymore. Blech!

Why don't you realize going into your twenties that these are the days? Why do we just fritter them away being young and stupid? Oh right. Because we are young and stupid. It's so hard to see that little decisions you make at that age will have such a profound lasting effect on the next few decades of your life. Somebody should warn us. But alas, it is too late.

Seems to me like it is time to stop and smell the roses. I just hope I can resist the urge to get botox.

in honor of kathy

I know I've been gone for awhile - I hope you all haven't forgotten about me.

We lost Kathy last week to pancreatic cancer, and the whole thing has just been awful. She was too young, too vibrant, too good. We know that she fought the good fight to the very end and that it was time for God to end her pain, but that doesn't make it any easier. I think my DD put it best - "I HATE cancer. She should never have had cancer in the first place."

Her daughter, my friend, has had to step up to the plate and handle details and make decisions that nobody our age should ever have to think about. She has done everything with such grace and strength, and I am PROUD of her. It will be a long, long time before things can be normal for her again, if they ever are, but I know that she will be okay. This girl has had more thrown at her in her lifetime than anyone ever should, but she always gets through it somehow. I am in awe of her. She is an amazing testament to her mother - she exudes the same qualities of beauty, strength, happiness, and love. She doesn't see it now, she can't, but she will honor her mother not only by emulating these traits, but by spreading them to those she loves and by passing them forward. This is how Kathy's dynamic legacy will live on.

If you are so inclined as you read this please take a moment to say a prayer for this family. Thank you.