what happens at the end? i don't care.

I don't know if I am gaining control of my perfectionism or I am fearing my own immortality, but I have really started to embrace the idea that it's ok not to finish something. I'm not talking about the huge list of life things that go undone... I'm talking about my previously unyielding need to read a book from start to finish, watch a series from first episode to last, watch a movie from beginning to end... that kind of thing.

In the past couple weeks I have turned off two or three movies after the first hour or so, skipped around in a book I was reading, and abandoned more than a few tv shows before the end.

Yay me!! It's like getting time back in my life that would be lost otherwise!

Battling compulsions one crazy tic at a time...

What about you? Can you stop before the end, or are you compelled to finish?

thursday thunks - by the thunkers themselves

This week we will answer some crazy questions brought to you by THE THURSDAY THUNKERS, the color brown and the number 1.


1. What is your favorite type of soda (if you drink soda)?
I like Dr. Pepper or Cherry Coke. Yum!!

2. Do you believe in astrology? If so, what does your sign say about you?
Not really. But at the same time I think I really like up to being a Gemini. (How's that for seeing both sides of things...)

3. Who is John Galt?
I don't know? Who is Gossip Girl?

4. What is the last thing you do before you go to sleep at night?
Pray.

5. Who's your Daddy?
Vic. He's awesome. And terrifying. Love him.

6. Jelly beans or Jelly Bellies?
Both are icky. Jelly Bellies are more icky. Blech.

7. What do you think about yellow car? Why car manufacturer actually made yellow cars?
I think yellow is for school busses. I don't like weird colored cars. I don't like cars that stand out too much. I don't like vanity plates. I just like to blend into the traffic and not get stopped by cops.

8. Holding on or Letting go?
I hold on and hold on and hold on much too long. Then I let go. And then that's it. Fugetaboutit.

9. What kind of underwear, if any, do you wear?
I have all different kinds. Keep it spicy!

10. Who is your daddy and what does he do?
Umm, still Vic. He's an engineer. Smart guy.

11. Spring - is it here yet??
Good grief - I hope so! This feels like the longest frakkin' winter of all time!!

12. Does Google Streetview scare you?
It fascinates me. When it captures a shot of me hunched over my flowerbed with my crack of dawn hanging out, THEN it will scare me. And you if you know my address.

13. What is your favorite brand of ice cream?
For store bought I like Edy's. They have yummy flavors.

14. What is your favorite flavor of ice cream?
I have a few favs - Butter Crunch and Moose Tracks are at the top of the list.

15. Do you ever get tired of your everyday routine?
Story of my life. My resume reads like a case study for Adult ADD. I will say this though - I love the way things are going right now. I feel like I am finally coming into my own. It's a great feeling. Besides, my everyday is anything but routine.

16. What inspires you?
Beauty. Success. Laughter. Love. Sunshine. Art.

17. It’s springtime-do you spend more time outdoors?
I try to. I want to get out there and clean things up and plant some beauty around my home.

18. When do you think Bud will let us see the DVD of him and the french twins?
I don't know what that means, and I don't want to know. Oh ok, I kinda do. I'm going to check... Ok, according to Bud, the video is in final production. And Bud is a little bit angry. And funny. And I still don't get the french twins question. And I don't care. Go Bud!

19. If you could live anywhere in the world, where would you, and why?
Someplace where the temperature is 75 degrees and sunny all the time, and all my friends and family live there and there are rainbows and fairies and pretty pretty ponies and..... Whatever with the utopia... I live HERE and that's good enough for me.

20. Why do you blog?
Because I can't get enough of talking to myself out loud that I enjoy doing it in writing too.

21. What are electrolytes and why are they good for us?
Again, I don't know. What are antioxidents? What are acai berries? What's up with fiber?

22. Do you twitter? Why or why not?
I have one. I just don't know what to do with it.

23. What did you dream last night?
I don't remember. I never do. But now that you've asked the question, I realize that the nightmares have stopped. That's a really good thing. Plus, I've been getting more than two hours of sleep a night. Victory!

24. What is the strangest thing you've eaten?
On purpose? Maybe escargot or frog legs or goat. But all those bugs I eat accidentally when sitting outside is probably stranger.

25. What was the last picture that you took?



26. what is your favorite part of spring?
Warmth. Sunshine. Living things. Color. Longer days.

27. what is one thing that you did this past week that no one knows about?
Oh my goodness - I can't even think of anything. I am totally going to run naked through the streets tomorrow.

28. What kind of bandages do you typically have in your household?
Ummm.... whatever kind is in the medicine cabinet???

interview me!

I found an interview meme on tz's blog, and thought it sounded like fun. I asked to play, she sent me some questions, and then I forgot all about it! I came across them today and decided to go for it. So here they are.....

1. In your profile you write that you are blunt to the point of being harsh, name a time you regret that and a time you've been thankful for that trait. Anytime that I have hurt my family or friends with my words, I regret it. On the other hand, life is too short to mince words sometimes. It makes me nuts when people dance around what they want to say instead of just saying what they mean.

2. How did you meet your husband and how long did it take before you knew he was the "one". Technically, I met my husband on the school bus. However, he was not in the same grade and had two brothers that rode that bus, so I only remember that there were a lot of them and not really distinguishing between them. He did have homeroom with my sister though.

We were officially introduced when he was home from leave from boot camp, and I had been hanging out with his best friend. After he graduated we started hanging out together all the time. I had been out all night with our friends one night and we knew he was on his way to drill. We stopped by his house at 5 in the morning. It was the first time I saw him dressed in his cammies. I was sold and I loved him ever since.

3. Loved your post of writing a letter to your 17 year old self -- what type of letter do you think you'd write to your present self 15 years from now?
Hopefully 15 years from now I have reached a place of peace and satisfaction with my station. I wish to be able to look back and let myself know that I am on the right track and to hang in there - that only good things are right around the corner.

4. What is the most daring thing you have done?
I don't consider myself very daring. In fact, I think I haven't been nearly daring enough. However, three and a half years ago I made the decision to do everything possible to turn things around for my family. As a result, my husband and I did big bold daring things. We sold things, we moved, we worked extra jobs. It wasn't easy, but I am proud of the decisions we made, and I know that we have benefited from them.

5. Describe a time when you and your husband laughed yourselves silly.
We laugh all the time. So much so, that I am grasping to name a specific time. In fact I just asked him and he said the same thing. Our daily life is funny - to us. I'm sure to anyone else it is quite ordinary.

The last time we fell over laughing we were playing a game. I was losing, so I began cheating. Brazenly so. He knew it. I still lost. It was hilarious. Again, probably only to us. :)



Ok, wanna play? Here are the rules.
1. Link back to the original post and put these rules in your post.
2. Leave me a comment saying, "Interview me."
3. I will respond by emailing you five questions. I get to pick the questions.
3. You will update your blog with the answers to the questions.
4. You will include this explanation and an offer to interview someone else in the same post.
5. When others comment asking to be interviewed, you will ask them five questions."

Enjoy!

bugs, fruit, eating strange things and some other stuff

This week we will answer some crazy questions brought to you by Berleen, the color puke green and the number 12345.



1. You are walking down the road and you look down. There is a bug. Do you step on it?
I probably would! If not, I would just keep on walking. Bugs - yuck!

2. What is one fantasy that you want to come true more than any other?
Independent wealth. I know that's shallow, but the truth is that the first and last decade of my life were ruled by financial struggle, and it just makes me tired.

3. Someone knocks on your door. Do you look out the window to see who it is before you open it? Do you open it regardless of who it is?
Depending on my mood, I may not even answer it at all. Sorta like the phone. I don't get a lot of unexpected visits, so if I do it's probably not good. :)

4. Have you ever eaten Play Doh?
Ewww, no! Ok, I may have licked it once..... :)

5. What was your favorite Saturday morning cartoon as a child and why?
Fraggle Rock. Loooooved it! I mean, what's NOT to love about a deep, deep, dark, dark, deep, dark pit?

6. Are you a "people watcher"?
Absolutely! Have you seen some of the freaks out there? There seems to be and endless stream of them! LOL!

7. I have a bowl of fruit. There are apples, oranges & pears. You help yourself to one - which one do you choose?
Apples. I am funny about fruit. I like apples, grapes, bananas. I don't really like berries. I absolutely hate any kind of melon. I don't much care for citrus. Some exotic fruits are ok if I'm in the right mood.

8. What is your biggest pet peeve in the blogging world?
Finding a blog that I love, and then it totally drops off. I also wish I had more comments. I know that blog readers make commenting more of an effort, but I love to hear from people! I'm not really even sure if I have readers at this point? DH told me that he doesn't like all the memes, and likes it better when I just write. It's harder, because it requires more effort, but he's right. That's why this meme is the only one that remains....... Ooh, shiny things! What was the question again?

9. What is one religion that you could just never see yourself joining?
Oh, man. It's hard to answer this without being offensive. Ok then. I'm going with Bahá'í. Mostly because I can't think of a single person following this religion. So there.

10. What word do you use far too often?
Seriously? Seriously, it's like I can't even help it. Seriously. Mostly because it can seriously be used in so many ways. Seriously.

11. How long do you spend in the shower?
Forever. Or ten minutes.

12. If you were to write a personal ad about yourself, what would it say?
Sarcasm seeking sarcasm. Those who can't take it need not apply.

13. Your favorite flavor of soup is....?
French onion. Yum-o.

14. You are sitting on a bench in the park and a bug walks in front of your feet.... do you squash him?
Is this the same one I passed on the road? Then yeah, I definitely squash him this time.

scary cats, tom cruise, smiling at sarcasm, and more!

This week we will answer some crazy questions brought to you by Kimber, the color rainbow and the number 3.



1. This cat- Link- scary or cute?
That cat(?) is freakin' hysterical. And scary. And not at all cute. Please do yourself the favor and clear two minutes in your life to watch the video. Crazy funny stuff! (OMG - it's little rat tail is going to haunt me for weeks!)

2. Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes reproducing again. Good idea or don't care?
Don't care. Though I would be surprised if she was pregnant again. Who knows what all theatrics went into the production of their first. And that Tom - bat shit crazy he is.

3. Do you smile at strangers when you make eye contact?
Always. It's one of my things. I always look people in the eye, smile, and say hello. It's odd how often it is disarming.

4. What percentage of your sarcasm isn't really sarcasm at all?
All of my sarcasm is sarcasm. Lots of my sarcasm is true. Most of what comes out of my mouth is sarcasm.

5. If you were to be a dog breed, which breed would you be?
Hmmm.... probably something small and yippy - like a Pomeranian.

6. Go grab the closest book. Open up to page 27. Whats the 4th sentence?
"When the lights were out, she could see Hollywood Heather shining in the moonlight."
Bwahahahaha!!!!!!! It was my daughter's Nancy Drew book! :)

7. When's the last time someone put one over on you, told you a story that you totally fell for when it wasn't anywhere near true?
Hmm. This is rare. I am usually on the giving end of such a scenario. I'll have to think on this...

8. Ever seen Michael Jackson in person?
Nope. I would have died to back in the day, but no thanks now. Total freak show!

9. Do you have a gut?
Sadly, I do. And five days a week I have the will power to do something about it. The other two I don't. :(

10. What is one thing in your kitchen you have too many/too much of?
I went through my kitchen and got rid of everything in that category! Before that, I had a ridiculous amount of spatulas, plastic bowls, coffee mugs, and small appliances that never got used.

11. Ever had a colon cleansing?
No, why? Do you think I need one?